Rise of the Quietarians

As Martin fiddled with the idea of jumping out of bed and launching a full guerilla attack on the blood fleecing insects that were buzzing around his bedroom, he heard a throat clear.

Suddenly his mind’s attention shifted to the unexpected sound he had just heard.

Martin

Who’s there?

Voice

It’s Amos

Martin

Amos who?

Voice

A mosquito

(chirpy laughter)

Ok calm down. I’m just a mosquito. Get it. A mos – quito?

(silence)

Martin abruptly reaches for the switch on the wall and turns on the light. He looks around for the source of the voice. He bends over the floor to look under his bed but there is nothing there.

Voice

Dude, did my voice seriously sound like it came from under there?

A cold chill suddenly grasps Martin as he realizes that he was probably being confronted by a ghost or supernatural being.

Martin

Who are you?

Voice

Uh, didn’t I already just tell you that, bro? 

Martin

Ok. Relax, Chill out bro. You’re only dreaming. This isn’t happening …. Ouch!

 Voice

There. I just saved you from having to pinch yourself.

Now let me introduce myself formally.

A mosquito then hovers in front of Martin’s nose.

                                                Mosquito

As I said before my name is Amos and as you can see, I am a mosquito – a six legged creature with a tendency to buzz sharply when flying. Fortunately, I don’t do that because I am a quietarian… which means I prefer flying quietly. I find it disrespectful and uncivilized to both hunt for human blood and make noise for them while doing so.

Now that you know my name, what’s yours?

Martin

Oh My God!

Amos

Ok. That’s new. I’m sure you are wondering why on earth a mosquito like me would want to be talking to an average human bozo like you. First of all, it has been clear that over the past few days, there are a number of non-quietarian mosquitoes from my community who find your blood highly delectable. The thing is, most of them are swarming into your bedroom illegally. Some of them didn’t even make it past the medical check-up at immigration.

Martin

Immigration?

Amos

Yes. You have to get a check up at the immigration station when entering a new mosee territory. If you’re carrying diseases, then you will be sent back home.  

Martin

You mean mosquitoes have a legal system?

Amos

Yes they do. I know it’s pretty hard to believe especially when you assume that you are the only intelligible species. But right now, our system is being breached. That’s why we need your help. We have to bring down the NON- IMMIGRANDOS. 

Martin

Yeah? But how?

Amos

With your help we can bring them all down. Tonight!

Martin

K. What do you need me to do?

Amos

You possess the ultimate secret weapon that can wipe out non-immigrant mosquitoes in this territory.

Martin

What’s that?

Amos

Mortein DOOOOOM!

Martin

Aaaaah.

Amos

My troops will lead you to the hideouts of the non-immigrants where you must stealthily unleash the secret weapon and vanquish them forever.

Martin

Forever?

Amos

Yes! FOREVER!!

But only on one condition. 

Martin

Which is?

Amos

That you remain our faithful ally from now on. You must promise not to eradicate the quietarians.

Martin

Why? You’ll still suck my blood.

Amos

True, but we quietarians are a much more evolved group. We do not believe in parasitism and so we have developed a tissue generation technology that helps us reproduce human blood on our own. One ounce of sucked blood can be enough to produce a lifetime supply of fresh artificial type - O in our laboratories. We just need that primary seed sample… and we’ll be out of your room in less than a week. The future of the quietarian people depends on you Oh My God! Else we shall perish.

Martin

Ok! I hear you man.

Amos

Mosquito

Martin

Mosquito.. I hear you mosquito.  - aside [Oh My God!]

Amos

That’s you.

Now, quick, pick up the secret weapon and turn off the lights. Then take out your cellphone. We will use its light to move slowly into the enemy’s domain. 

Martin reaches over the top shelf on the wall to his left and grabs a can of Mortein Doom . He then picks his cellphone from the dresser and follows Amos. They move together towards the wardrobe. 

Amos

(whispering) They are here. Upon the top left corner at the rear of your wardrobe lie a village with close to one hundred non-immigrant mosquito, we must eliminate them at once before they scatter to different settlements. Are you ready?

Martin

Yes. Ready when you are.

Amos

On my order spray the weapon directly where I show you.

Amos flies into the wardrobe and moves slowly behind a grey coat and comes out again. 

Amos

On the count of three move the coat away and spay at the top left corner

1 ….

2…

3..  SPRAYYYYY!!!

Martin quickly shoves the coat aside and sprays the insecticide can directly towards the top left corner of his wardrobe. A swarm of mosquitoes fall onto the wardrobe floor in large groups. Amos runs after a few which were escaping and kills them as they choke on the insecticide. After a few more sprays, there are no flying immigrant mosquitoes left.

Amos

Good Job, Oh My God! We have defeated the non-immigrant clans!

I’d high five you if I had one less limb. 

Martin

Yeah we did. This is great! I can’t believe we did it!

Amos

This calls for a celebration

Martin

Not quite

Amos

What? Why?

Martin

I think there’s still one more left.

Amos

Where?

Martin quickly sprays his can of Doom directly at Amos. He falls to the floor like a dead leaf.

Martin

Yap. We’re done here. 

Martin blows his Mortein Doom nozzle and places the can on the dresser. He washes his hands and goes back to bed.