As Martin fiddled with the idea of jumping out of bed and
launching a full guerilla attack on the blood fleecing insects that were
buzzing around his bedroom, he heard a throat clear.
Suddenly his mind’s attention shifted to the unexpected
sound he had just heard.
Martin
Who’s there?
Voice
It’s Amos
Martin
Amos who?
Voice
A mosquito
(chirpy laughter)
Ok calm down. I’m just a
mosquito. Get it. A mos – quito?
(silence)
Martin abruptly reaches for the switch on the wall and turns
on the light. He looks around for the source of the voice. He bends over the
floor to look under his bed but there is nothing there.
Voice
Dude, did my voice seriously
sound like it came from under there?
A cold chill suddenly grasps Martin as he realizes that he
was probably being confronted by a ghost or supernatural being.
Martin
Who are you?
Voice
Uh, didn’t I already just tell
you that, bro?
Martin
Ok. Relax, Chill out bro. You’re
only dreaming. This isn’t happening …. Ouch!
Voice
There. I just saved you from
having to pinch yourself.
Now let me introduce myself
formally.
A mosquito then hovers in front of Martin’s nose.
Mosquito
As I said before my name is Amos
and as you can see, I am a mosquito – a six legged creature with a tendency to
buzz sharply when flying. Fortunately, I don’t do that because I am a
quietarian… which means I prefer flying quietly. I find it disrespectful and
uncivilized to both hunt for human blood and make noise for them while doing
so.
Now that you know my name, what’s
yours?
Martin
Oh My God!
Amos
Ok. That’s new. I’m sure you are
wondering why on earth a mosquito like me would want to be talking to an
average human bozo like you. First of all, it has been clear that over the past
few days, there are a number of non-quietarian mosquitoes from my community who
find your blood highly delectable. The thing is, most of them are swarming into
your bedroom illegally. Some of them didn’t even make it past the medical
check-up at immigration.
Martin
Immigration?
Amos
Yes. You have to get a check up
at the immigration station when entering a new mosee territory. If you’re
carrying diseases, then you will be sent back home.
Martin
You mean mosquitoes have a legal system?
Amos
Yes they do. I know it’s pretty hard
to believe especially when you assume that you are the only intelligible
species. But right now, our system is being breached. That’s why we need your
help. We have to bring down the NON- IMMIGRANDOS.
Martin
Yeah? But how?
Amos
With your help we can bring them
all down. Tonight!
Martin
K. What do you need me to do?
Amos
You possess the ultimate secret
weapon that can wipe out non-immigrant mosquitoes in this territory.
Martin
What’s that?
Amos
Mortein DOOOOOM!
Martin
Aaaaah.
Amos
My troops will lead you to the
hideouts of the non-immigrants where you must stealthily unleash the secret
weapon and vanquish them forever.
Martin
Forever?
Amos
Yes! FOREVER!!
But only on one condition.
Martin
Which is?
Amos
That you remain our faithful
ally from now on. You must promise not to eradicate the quietarians.
Martin
Why? You’ll still suck my blood.
Amos
True, but we quietarians are a
much more evolved group. We do not believe in parasitism and so we have
developed a tissue generation technology that helps us reproduce human blood on
our own. One ounce of sucked blood can be enough to produce a lifetime supply
of fresh artificial type - O in our laboratories. We just need that primary
seed sample… and we’ll be out of your room in less than a week. The future of
the quietarian people depends on you Oh My God! Else we shall perish.
Martin
Ok! I hear you man.
Amos
Mosquito
Martin
Mosquito.. I hear you mosquito. - aside
[Oh My God!]
Amos
That’s you.
Now, quick, pick up the secret
weapon and turn off the lights. Then take out your cellphone. We will use its light
to move slowly into the enemy’s domain.
Martin reaches over the top shelf on the wall to his left
and grabs a can of Mortein Doom . He then picks his cellphone from the dresser
and follows Amos. They move together towards the wardrobe.
Amos
(whispering) They are here. Upon the top left corner at the rear of
your wardrobe lie a village with close to one hundred non-immigrant mosquito,
we must eliminate them at once before they scatter to different settlements.
Are you ready?
Martin
Yes. Ready when you are.
Amos
On my order spray the weapon
directly where I show you.
Amos flies into the wardrobe and moves slowly behind a grey coat
and comes out again.
Amos
On the count of three move the
coat away and spay at the top left corner
1 ….
2…
3.. SPRAYYYYY!!!
Martin quickly shoves the coat aside and sprays the insecticide
can directly towards the top left corner of his wardrobe. A swarm of mosquitoes
fall onto the wardrobe floor in large groups. Amos runs after a few which were
escaping and kills them as they choke on the insecticide. After a few more sprays,
there are no flying immigrant mosquitoes left.
Amos
Good Job, Oh My God! We have
defeated the non-immigrant clans!
I’d high five you if I had one
less limb.
Martin
Yeah we did. This is great! I can’t
believe we did it!
Amos
This calls for a celebration
Martin
Not quite
Amos
What? Why?
Martin
I think there’s still one more left.
Amos
Where?
Martin quickly sprays his can of Doom directly at Amos. He
falls to the floor like a dead leaf.
Martin
Yap. We’re done here.
Martin blows his Mortein Doom nozzle and places the can on the dresser. He washes his hands and goes back to bed.
