When you call me, you should say bye before you hang up
If you call me at anytime between 11pm and 9 a.m I wont pick up
Ill be sleeping
Ill only pick up if you are calling me in my dreams
But if you call me at anytime between 11pm and 9 a.m you had better be a girl
Then I might pick up
Unless you're an ex
If you are an ugly ex, then you should text
It rhymes with ex
But it also rhymes with sex
But that's not the point
When you call me and I tell you I'll call you back then hang up
I'm probably in a noisy place
If I don't call you back
Then I wasn't in a noisy place
You are probably a noisy person
If you are naturally a noisy person I probably won't pick up
You should text
It helps reduce the volume
If I call you a lot then you are probably either female or rich or my bandmate or my boss
If I dont call you at all its because you used up all my airtime the last time I called
And then you didn't call back
Be a responsible calling-back-kind-of-person
When it comes to texts I prefer short texts
That's why they call them short message services
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