Monday, June 2, 2014

Why Kenya Is Still Developing




I recently attended a film conference where several panel discussions about Kenyan showbiz took place. As is customary, towards the end of the discussion the floor was opened to questions from the audience. One man wanted to know why it was so difficult to get a local production accepted by a T.V station. The response from one of the panel member who was  a TV show producer was both encouraging and disheartening. She emphasized with the man’s situation claiming that her own productions had been rejected severally in the past. Her statement was encouraging because she was willing to meet the man who raised the question afterwards. It was however disheartening because the started from the bottom story she gave was a familiar one that I had heard from many personalities in showbiz. The only thing that bugged me was the question I later asked myself “When will this bottom to top approach stop?” 

Most people who make it in Kenya through their own sweat have to grab success the hard way. We are made to believe that there is no other way. But truly there must be. Those that face it rough simply don’t want to see you get it easy when they themselves hustled to succeed. They come up with reasons like, ‘It will help you build character’ and ‘It will teach you important lessons’. For instance, a company director who worked himself up the corporate ladder in a Kenyan firm will rarely find time to reply to emails from job seekers. Is it because, he doesn’t have the time? No. It would only take five minutes to read and reply simple email asking if there is any opportunity for fresh graduates in the firm. It is simply because, he thinks he does not owe anyone anything since no one gave him the same assistance when he struggled to make it. 

The problem with this kind of thinking is that it helps to keep the problem alive. Therefore the next generation of company leaders will do the same thing to the next generation of job seekers and so on.
In Kenya, many people cry for change yet they are unwilling to change anything themselves. People will cry foul over corruption but will hesitate to blow whistles when they spot an incidence of corruption happening right in front of their faces. Many people will complain about badly driven matatus and reckless drivers when they themselves cannot obey a simple traffic light. Most people will complain about how bogus our leaders are yet they have never bothered to find out what their local MPs background is let alone trying to get in contact with them in order to present their problems.

I have come to learn that Kenyans are often very quick to complain but slow to act. No one will be brave enough to create change but everyone is patient enough to wait for it to appear from thin air. And because of this complacent attitude, development is always a continuing process for us and never a final destination. We are just a developing nation.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Why?

The year was 2012. I attended a blogging forum that promised to make me the ot cake of the blogging community with just a day's worth of advice. Upon implementation I would be the talk of the virtual online town (read Kenya's blogosphere). Or would I? Well, if there is actually one thing I remember from that entire day of learning various tips and hacks is myself asking a fellow attendee "Why do you blog?" It was a fundamental question that would explain our very presence at that forum. I cant remember what answer she gave but now I actually wish i asked the question to myself instead of her.

As you can see it has been months since my last post. It is not because I haven't had anything to say of course. Each time I went ahead and tried to say it I ask myself, Why? Why am I writing this and who am I writing it for. In fact years back the answer to that would have been simple. I will get loads of traffic and consequently load of money. If was there was ever an adolescent blogging principle it would be that. Blogging to get rich is the equivalent of living so that you can eat. there are a million ways to get rich and blogging is certainly not in the top ten most recommended. In fact for most successful bloggers it is a by product of their effort. So what is the real product. In fact  better yet, what is the real motivation.

Let us put motivation into perspective. Years before the forum I mentioned above, I had started my very first blog. It was a blog on matters actuarial. I was an actuarial science student at that time approaching my graduation year. The very idea of being Kenya's first actuarial blog was exciting enough. Soon I discovered there were others and this got me even more excited. We were a community. A force. My blog has very few readers to be honest and of course after a while this bothered me. I wanted more. it is the inevitable trap of inborn human nature. MORE MORE MORE! But what I really needed was enough. Enough readers, enough comments and enough content. That is all a good novice blogger should aim for. Enough.

I had about five followers, two of whom read my every post no matter how cryptic the math formulae I discussed got. These were the guys who kept me going. When these people commented on a post, I totally forgot I had 5 pageviews a day. Soon I had 20 and I was doing the flips. 20 was enough. But just like every other novice blogger who never took his blog seriously, my interest in the subject fizzled out as the rise in my pageviews did not reflect on my college grades. I eventually got tired of all the intricacies of actuarial science and took a quick detour to the world of media. To me there was a whole world out there in media that I needed to immerse myself into.

After my first blog, I started a series of other blogs (I believe this one was my second). None of them inspired the zeal to write as much as my first one did (why does that sound like an ode to your first ex?) So today I realized that my first blog was my most successful blog. It had an average of 10 views a day by the time I abandoned it and most posts would not make sense to the average Ghafla! fan but to those that got it, I was much endeared.

So, on the matter of why? I realized you don't really need much of a why to create a post. You need a simple fire that ignites your will to start a blog. For Spyderhand, it was the need to explore my creative writing abilities. But then work got into the way. Work has a way of doing that.

Then today it hit me after reading Charles Bukowski's (he would have been an epic blogger) Wikipedia page. He had this memorable mantra that says 'Don't Try'. Yes, don't try to write, don't try to sing, don't try to paint, don't try to be creative. Just wait for that inspiring moment to come to you. And when it does, Swing at it! As I said in the beginning, I have had loads of ideas. I shelved them because I asked myself what effect it would bring and whether I could even keep it coming regularly.  Now I realize I didn't need a reason. THE REASON WAS THE INSPIRATION. All the reason I needed for his creative blog of mine was to distribute my creativity end of story. With the little spurts here and there I was using to publish new posts, I realized I was only trying. But as an ancient alien who became famous for his reversed sentence structures once said - Do or do not, there is no try. #Thatisall.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Mind Blown

 I came across the following jumpers on www.geektyrant.com and all I could say is GIGAGAGAGAGA!







Thursday, January 9, 2014

Conversation with a 44' conductor



Since I moved to the Roysy side of life (Roysambu), I have come to realize that things are not so rosy after all in this area of Nairobi. One unrosy bit is the exorbitant busfare rates. Living around Thika road is like living on that hill in Meru where apparently water flows upwards if you pour it down the hill (I am yet to personally confirm this). The busfare along Thika Road becomes less expensive the further away you live from the main road. E.g. Mwiki residents pay half the fare that Kasarani people pay and Roysambu guys pay thrice the fare that Kahawa West and Zimmerman people are charged. It’s an unfair world. And with such pricing models you wonder why the Kenyan economy is lagging behind.

Roysambu Motorbikers Club


Anyway, my main concern on this particular Tuesday morning as I made my way to work was the customer service route 44 guys were serving. I naturally ignored all the boda boda motorcycles along the way to the stage in a bid to cut expenses. They simply greeted me and continued chatting the morning away. Once I made it to the stage, I stealthily walked behind all the flashy 44 Nissans to get to the other side near the roundabout where the shadier but more affordable matatus stopped by every once in a while (in other words I activated sufferer mode). Unfortunately, they were extremely scarce this time and I had to prove my resilience against the scorching Thika Road sun. Unbeknownst to me the route 44 conductors had spotted me in my beaming, sweaty forehead glory and marked me out as an evader.


Once I realized that the 44 mats were going to get full and leave me there waiting for an economy class ride, I decided to throw in my white flag and board them. But one conductor in a Gor Mahia jersey had it in for me. Before I could step inside the mat, he popped up in my way in a confrontational manner

CONDUCTOR: Saa hii ndio unaona upande gari saa zile inaenda kujaa?

ME: Uh. Eh (in a “don’t be so obvious” tone)

CONDUCTOR: Uache ufala. Hatukujangi hapa hubarizi. Sasa mbona unajiona unaeza panda za zile inaenda kujaa. Ulikuwa unasimama hapo ukingoja?

ME: (I squint at him with an unbelieving expression and after a pause, try to find the right words for this idiot…) Unataka niingia Mat ama nisiingie?

CONDUCTOR: Kama unaona huwezi ingia hizi mat zetu usikuje kusimama hapa. Ama unataka kutupunish?

ME: Naeza simama hapa all day. In fact naeza simama kwa keja yangu kaa nataka kungojea mat huko. Mi ndio customer na nitadecide ile time nitapanda. In fact wacha hata nisimame hapa.
So I proceed to wait a bit more just to spite the guy.

CONDUCTOR: Customer kitu gani. Hii mat haina customer. Kila mtu hapa ni customer na kama hupandi usikuje kusimama hapa. 

ME: (totally ignoring his ass)

One of my economy class mats from Kahawa West comes by to save the day and it was charging me 60 percent of what the 44 dufus was charging. I jolt into it immediately and give the 44 conductor one long hard look that said “Sharrrrap!”



Moral of the story: Customer is not only King, he is Emperor.

Friday, January 3, 2014

How I Get Through a Day at Work


9 a.m -11 a.m

1. Say a loud hello to everyone when I arrive at the office (greet them personally if I had an enjoyable busride). 

2. Turn on my computer and run away or stroll around to escape the pain of watching it boot super-  slowly.

3. Sit down and sulk about how everyone else seems 20 times more focused than me at this time of the morning.

4. Open my email account to feel like I have started something work related.

5. Open a Youtube tab on Mozilla and search for a nice playlist of my favourite music. Put on my earphones and hum out of pitch.

6. Open Facebook and skim through the newsfeed like it’s some important business daily I’m reading.



7. Pick out interesting links to ‘interesting’ pages I can read and convince myself that I also read constructive things while bamming away on social media sites.

8. Go back to my email to see what work there is to be done and quickly head back to Youtube.

11 a.m – 1 p.m

9. Make some tea and start a random conversation in the office about football. Dudes are suckers for that. 



10. Start on my first item of work half-heartedly.

11. Make a lunchtime scroll on my browser to see what’s new on Facebook. Normally turns out to be a blonde update about the true meaning of life and other life enriching stories.

12. The lunchtime tension commences as we all wait for someone to give in and admit that he is going out for lunch. Usually turns out to be me and I leave to get lunch and to carry out step 13…

13. Stroll slowly to Sarova (a.k.a vibanda za chapo nyama) or ule mathe wa rice madodo na mokimo or ule mathe wa pilau na ngwaci or McFries *(In order of class and according to current feelings of affluence) as I check out the lovely lasses of Hurlingham and Daystar on my way there.

14. Grab a PK on my way back to the office.

2 p.m – 4 p.m

15. Gasp about how fast time is flying. "Wa! ni 2 already?"

16. Crunch time. I resolve to hurriedly finish my work in a fit of unshakable focus (with the exception of a few juicy Youtube interruptions)



4 p.m -5 p.m 

17. Head to the supermarket to grab popcorn, yoghurt, biscuits or cookies.

18. Moon in the glory of the attention I’m getting (mostly female) from everyone who wants a bite of what I brought from the supermarket.



19. Facebook Updates about random thoughts like how Star Wars is so much better than Star Trek. 

20. Blogging time. That is if the chapatti or rice I ate for lunch has not infiltrated my brainpower and replaced it with several calories of writing block.

5 p.m – 6 p.m. 

21. Exclusive well earned YouTube time. 

Cat and mouse


22. Final Facebook check up to see if anyone commented on my earlier updates so that I can reply and they can reply and I can reply to what they reply and they can reply to what I reply after they… you get the point. 
 
23. Send some important emails.

24. HOMETIIIIME!!!!!!

Considering that I do 24 different things in less than 24 hours, my conclusion is that I am a very hardworking dude for my age (older than 24 yrs.)

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

The Facebook You Think You Know



Sometimes I imagine that my social media accounts are like hotlines and I am the receptionist sitting there, waiting for a post, inbox, tweet and so forth, et cetera et cetera, ad infinitum (latin is such a sexy language) Well, that is one of the main symptoms of becoming a social media junkie, a breed of internet goons I had looked down upon not so long ago. But I’m only a social media junkie when Im idle. Coz in Earth 2.0, an idle mind is Mark Zuckerberg’s workshop.

 Every since you set up that account and bought a touch-screen smart phone that makes it a practically brainless activity to surf through a newsfeed, you will always feel the urge to know what people are saying. Most of the time, it isn’t much. But we are such nosy ones.  So we always have to know. Sometimes you end up knowing things about people you don’t know. Weird. Huh? Which comes first? Knowing a guy, or knowing what a guy thinks?

Here’s a tough challenge (or a resolution, for those who are romantically in love with those things.). Why don’t you try knowing, and by knowing I mean meeting, all the people you are friends with on Facebook in 2014. Not much, just a face to face that will lead to a tete a tete. You don’t have to treat them or bone them or anything spectacular like that. Just meet and greet. And if you don’t want to meet them, unfriend them. See how real it gets, just for the thrill.